Oviedo

Granted, I haven't even been here 24 hours yet, but Im begining to think that Oviedo will stand out among the blur that is my memory of my two months in Spain. This very moment may even stand out as a vignette of my three days in this city. I am sitting on a bed made up of nothing more than a few old and bent springs covered by a sheet of plastic or two with a faded, yellow brocade bedspread eating doritos with this sweet, yet strangly delectible, green slime that spaniards call guacamole. I can feel the metal springs digging into the collecting celulite on my backside.

There is drying underware hanging out the window and shirts strewn wherever the surface would hold a knarly metal hanger, including the edge of the tv and the door jamb. I have the windows wide open, not only in attempts to dry my clothes quicker, but also to air out the pungent smell of mold and sweat that reeks from every surface in my room. I realize that I do smell fairly pungent myself, but believe you me, I could not create this aroma on my own.

When we arrived, I took the luggage up to the third floor while Karina and Heather were parking the car. I was greeted excitedly by a stout older women with a grey checkered apron and thick eye glasses that made her black eyes pop. She talked at me at such a rapid pace that the best I could do was smile and nod excitedly back. (excuse me while I trade my doritos in for a pop-top can of fruit cocktail whose light syrup Im thinking contains paint thinner.. )

She invited me into the sala de estar to watch television with her and her husband who live on the floor with us. The following conversation is unfortunately not all the far from what was acutually said, as best as I can remember and translate.

Woman: [something or other about marriage and a young girl and a young man for this young girl.She points to her ring finger and asks a question of me. ]

Me: no, no im not married.

Man: no not you. The girl on t.v.

Me: is she married?

Woman: thats what I was saying. She ran off and got married. [Something more about her family and secrets and france and the king something or other]

Me: oh, the king's daughter got married?

Man: no. The king's daughter is 5 years old.

Woman: [ more pointing to the t.v. Which is playing a car race and talking about some girl and a king and marriage]

Me: uhhuh. Yeah. The girl........

Man: on t.v.

Me: the cars got married?

Woman: [still talking about somethingor other....]

Man: No. The king is there.

Me: on t.v.?

Man: not on t.v. At the race

Me: OH! The king is at the race with the girl that got married in secret.

Man: no. No girl. Only the king. The girl is singing.

Woman: the girl sang at the race

Me: OH!! the girl! At the race! And the king!

Man: the race is in oviedo.

Me: i get it. I get it! (only partly lying)

Woman: (without a moment of pause) are you here studying spanish?

Me: no, family history

Woman: family what? Oh never mind. Just not spanish. Thats good. Good good. Study abroad should really teach you something and you obviously haven't learned spanish.

We then went on to have a riviting conversation about how Ishould move up in the world and that I should become a doctor in Bilbao. Not a farmer. Especially not a farmer of cows. Pigs were better. But not as good as a doctor in bilbao.

Later that night I was wandering from my room on one side of the hostal to the other where Karina and Heather were rooming. As I was crossing the sala de Estar, I put out my hands to avoid running into a wall. As I got to the end of the room I reached out and touched someone's face in the dark. I started screaming as it was to short and wrinkly to be heather or karina. When I started screaming, a low grunt started coming out from under my palm. Suddenly the light switched on and there I stood with my palms up against the poor man's face. He recovered much more quickly from the start than I did, and proceeded to give me a walking tour of the house and was sure to point out each and every light switch. He was also careful to speak slowly since I wasn't here to learn spanish and all.....

We will be in oviedo for 3 more days. As glad as I am to know that I am back to my ridiculously awkward self, im not sure the poor man next door can stand it. Although, I can feel his siesta snorring through the wall and the grumbly roar sounds above the chaos of the street and park below. Maybe we're a better pair than I thought.