I Pledge Allegiance

Tonight I read through Thelma's blog and was horrified at the atrocities occurring in Burma. I watched the short films that are part of the 30 Day Campaign for Burma. It was a powerful message. Please take a look and become a part of the movement. It was heart wrenching. And all the more so because I knew that I would turn off my computer and sleep peacefully and awake refreshed and ready to continue planning the wedding of my dreams. This is only possible because of the freedoms I have here in this country. I marvel at how often I take for granted this gift and this blessing. How often I think "What can I possibly do? I am only one person?" But I am one person with so very much.

Before bed I was reading "Savage Inequalities" by Jonathan Kozol. While describing the horrible conditions of Martin Luther King Elementary he writes, "In a fifth grade classroom on the third floor of the school, the American flag is coated with chalk and bunched around a pole above a blackboard with no writing on it." That struck me with a different kind of sadness. As a nation we spout the idealism of inaliable rights and pursuits of happiness. Those of us in the position where this is possible have the luxury of taking it for granted. We are not villagers in Burma being oppressed for decades and we are not the underprivileged children of the ghettos of America. We should be ashamed as members of humanity that these things can even occur. And we should be ashamed as Americans that we can profess to believe in equality and allow five year old children to be poisoned by toxic run off while at a public school in our own nation, in our own neighborhoods. "America gets its heart cut right out of it's chest while Berlin walls still run down mainstreets every east side and west." If we have the courage to look, we'll see that it's true. But it takes a great deal of courage to look and to continue looking and to never stop looking. I know I can't do it.

I have been a history major. And being a student of U.S. history, its hard to maintain a starry eyed idealism about America. Secret juntas in Guatemala, under the table arms deals, and attacks made for overtly selfish reasons have taught me that we are far from the city on a hill. But despite it all, I still believe in Martin Luther King's dream, in the Founding Father's idealism and in the overused and perfunctory political jargon of the latest election. I believe in the power of the individual and the power of language and the power of one voice.

History is a source of inspiration and a fountain of idealism despite its hidden horrors and shameful shadows. History can remind us that progress and change are not forces that exist within a vacuum but that it is the individual human being that revises, reforms and restores. And that each of these human beings has done such within a context of manufactured virtues and a status quo that discouraged or even tried to prevent revision and reform. Yet, these human beings changed history and the has-beens of the past consistently inspire the could-be's of today.

But we must take note that it is the human beings that thrive, not the people who survive, that change the world around them. The science of the past has told us that people need only food, shelter and clothing in order to survive.But to thrive, human beings need bonding, autonomy and meaning. Throughout the 20^th century, social darwinism has encouraged greed and isolationism with the misconstrued theory of survival of the fittest as its excuse. We have developed a social paradigm of separatism out of the outdated atomic theories of Newton. We live in a world where each person throws their hands in the air and asks “am I my brothers keeper?” And these theories of the hard sciences have encouraged a sense of determinism; that we are not in control of the nature within us; that the urge to “obey orders” is stronger than the urge to love our neighbor.

Yet, the human beings of history have proven otherwise. Our nation's history is glittering with individuals who overcame the “human nature” within them and created a world out of their imagination. We praise individuals who fought the odds, rose above the norm and thrived.

In my own childhood I was brought up to sing the praises of Don Quixote who saw the world not as it was, but as it could be. I learned early about Jean Valjean's spiritual quest to right the wrongs within his realm of influence and that despite his human faults, he transcended his desires for self preservation and forgave. I was encouraged to belt “seize the Day” louder than any Newsie even would have.

But despite these heroes of the past, we continue to live in a world bogged down by theories of isolationism, separatism and determinism. We can actively praise revolutionaries whose revolutions have long since been institutionalized and condemn revolutionaries whose revolutions currently threaten our sense of comfort and security. We will be slaves to the theories of the past until we can break from the comfort zone that assures us of the righteousness of the already-finished, the now to be endured, and the soon to escape.

"I'm wondering what it will take, for my city to rise. First, we admit our mistakes, and then we open our eyes." (Ani Difranco)

If we are ever to turn back the hands of time and restore integrity within ourselves, our communities and our nations, we must be willing to roll up our sleeves and work. Integrity is the delicate balance of seeing and criticizing the harsh realities of the present while envisioning and aiming for the worlds that are possible. Integrity requires taking a hard look at the fallacies that are most the comforting but also the most dangerous to our souls without allowing our sense of vision to be eclipsed by our sense of reality. We must be willing to sacrifice pride, greed and a sense of superiority in order see the awe-some potential that lies within the individual and the community as a whole. The view of that potential is a frightening one, not because it is terrible, but because it is beautiful; so beautiful as to be beyond our current paradigm. I cling to the thoughts of cervantes who said “Maddest of all is to see the world as it is and not as it should be.” We may be labeled crazy or radical for daring to step out of the realm of survival and thrive, but it is crazier, and far more dangerous not to.

Ghandi taught a principle called heart unity. Heart Unity is one man's name for the universal principle that teaches us that the only true way for individuals and communities to grow in unity and solidarity, we must have a deep and abiding desire for others to thrive. We must desire the growth and progress of our brothers, our neighbors and our enemies. This theory is not exclusive to the eastern religions. Christ taught an active gospel that was all inclusive as well. “love thy enemies” he taught. “Do good to them that despitefully use you.” And Muhammed likewise taught that even our oppressors should be loved and we should nourish a desire for them to thrive.

But to thrive does not mean to be in perfect agreement. Jane Addams wrote, “solidarity does not depend upon consciousness of homogeneity but upon a respect for variation, not upon inherited memory but upon trained imagination.” Whatever it is that inspires and trains a persons imagination should be harnessed and encouraged.

Our institutions of religion and learning and family should be the means by which the imagination is trained. Currently there is to much memory being passed down, too much learning how to obey. When in actuality we should be learning how to imagine and how to think. Too much rote memory and institutionalized obedience only further insulates the comfort zone of the current paradigm; a paradigm that discourages true love and unity and survives only on the idea of tolerance.

Tolerance of diversity is not enough. Tolerance implies that one side is on a higher moral ground than the other. There is no love in tolerance, no kindness, no dignity. Human beings require dignity to survive; the autonomy which requires them to be taken seriously and to be legitimate in the eyes of others. The cyclical nature of the self-fufilling prophecy is alive and well in our prisons, our schools and our day to day treatment of others. How can we expect dignified behavior of people we judge, condemn and simply tolerate? To reach a state of diverse unity, we must be willing to sacrifice our prejudices and our own sense of righteousness; to judge our hearts more harshly than the hearts of others. We must be willing to seriously question our hearts and require an honest answer of ourselves and of our communities, our religions and our nations. We must demand the integrity that we claim to uphold. Without this constant questioning and answering we will fall short of heart unity and remain forever in a state of tolerance.

Tolstoy, as we all should, praised those that had the ability to “lift their lives to the level of their conscience, to translate their theories into action.”

we are not done making history. And we never will be until our institutions are made to live up to the standard for which we designed them. If our churches, our schools, our families and our personal lives do not encourage transformation of the self, from the inside, and enforce the thriving of the human soul rather than the bodies mere survival, we can not be conent to remain comfortable and secure. The human being requires food, shelter and clothing and if these needs are not universally met, we should be ashamed of ourselves and be willing to work and sweat for the survival of people.

I am grateful to live in this nation and to have been given the incredible blessings and opportunities I have been granted. I love this country and it's potential so much it brings me to tears. I just pray that I can cultivate this love and sense of sacredness until it becomes a burning testimony of my potential as a citizen and a human being so that I can truly make a positive change.

I am sorry this is long and rambling and probably doesn't make much sense. I really shouldn't write so late! I just had to let it all out somehow quasi-dignified in order to avoid screaming it the middle of the street. I have so many thoughts and deep feelings that get unfairly tossed onto this screen. I hope some of them have stuck and made some sense. If you have gotten this far, i congratulate you and extend my sympathy.